Finding Snape
by Still believes Snivellus aka Heather Granger
Summary: Years have passed since Hermione Granger has left Hogwarts, and the threat of Voldermort is still ever present. When something happens to someone close to Severus Snape who will force him to face his past? Will he ever return to Hogwarts? CH 4 UP!!!
1. April Showers Brings May Letters?

Chapter 1  
  
April Showers brings May Letters?  
  
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A/N: Hello everyone, my name is Heather and I will be a sophomore in college this fall. As of now I have now summer job and hope that I can continue to write this story on a weekly basis. This story is in response to WIKTT's Summer Fic Challenge. At the moment I think the genre will be drama with a little angst thrown in here or there.  
  
I am currently looking for a Beta Reader, if anyone is interested leave a note in the review section. I do hope you enjoy it, because I don't think my twist on the plot has ever been done. Sit back and enjoy!!!  
  
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"Accio Definition and Uses of Magic," Albus Dumbledore said with a swish of his wand. He opened the large volume and placed it on his desk and began reading the following marked passage:  
  
"People often think of magic as a way of life, but the truth is that it will always be nothing more than a tool. A simple tool that people can either harness or demolish. When the line between magic as a tool and a way of life blurs, it transforms itself and the owner of that magic into an animal, a beast that will do any means to get what they want. This is, and always will be known as the viciousness of power and greed." - The Lone Artic Wolf.  
  
Albus Dumbledore closed the book and placed it back on his large cherry bookcase. He walked towards his large red velvet curtains that he drew back with a flick of his wand, and stared out onto the Quidditch fields. The bright spring sun shone into his pale blue eyes. It was the winter of his life, and much was weighing on his shoulders. Not only was Voldermort not dead, but worse once again in hiding. He wasn't sure what was worse anymore, knowing how powerful Voldermort once was, or how powerful he may still yet become. Many people had recently died at the hands of the Dark Lord, and Albus Dumbledore was not the only man feeling guilty about these recent events, and sadly enough he knew it.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a knock at the door. He tuned around and sighed deeply.  
  
"Come in Severus." He said gently, as he was expecting him.  
  
"Good morning, Headmaster. I expect that this is not to be a social call." He said as he took a seat on one of his three couches.  
  
"Would you care for a drink Severus?" Albus asked as he walked over to his bar and made himself a drink.  
  
"No thank you, sir." He said.  
  
"Severus, you know you may call me Albus, there are no formalities between us, we have known each other for much to long." He continued on while taking a seat behind his large cherry desk that was at least ten times as older than he was.  
  
"Enough small talk, why did you wish to see me this morning? I have no news of Voldermort's whereabouts as I have already mentioned to you last week since after his disappearance." He said as he lowered his head and placed his right hand over the mark. To him this mark would never come off, it was buried deep inside him and no matter how hard he tried he would never forget the pain he put not only himself through, but those who knew him.  
  
"I do not know where to begin, I am afraid I have received an owl this morning, in which you will take particular interest in." Albus paused while he reached in his drawer to pull it out.  
  
"I must say, before you read it, I would like you to know that what ever decision you make after reading this letter, I will fully support it. You may take as much time as you wish, and if you ever need a friend to talk to Hogwarts will always be here for you to return home to." Dumbledore finished as he handed Severus the folded letter.  
  
"If I didn't know any better I would say that either someone has died, or I am being convicted to conspiring to be a Death Eater." Severus said somewhat amused.  
  
Dumbledore did not answer in return, but just bowed his head as Severus opened up the letter.  
  
After what seemed like a half an hour Severus looked up from the letter and looked into Dumbledore's eyes, if there had ever been a time where Severus needed reassurance, it would have to be now.  
  
"I am truly sorry Severus. The choice is yours to make, and unfortunately yours alone." Albus said as he started to scribble something on a piece of parchment.  
  
"I must go, now!" Severus Snape snapped.  
  
"If that is your wish, you will write won't you?" He asked as he stood to stand level with his Potions Master.  
  
"Of course." He said while slowly closing his eyes and hoping that when he reopened them it would have all been a horrible dream that he would wake up to find himself, cranky and guilty as always.  
  
"Good day, and good luck my dear friend, may your feet find their way back home again." Albus said as he was walking to the door.  
  
With so few words spoken, Severus Snape was gone, and Albus Dumbledore wasn't sure if he would ever return again. The sparkle that once shone in his eyes was gone, and his heart was once again heavy.  
  
He sat back down at his desk and finished his note that he was writing. Once he was done he took the candle that was lit on his desk and held it underneath the stick of wax that was now melting onto the folded letter. After a small amount of red liquid had settled onto the parchment he took his seal, and stamped it hard into the back of the letter.  
  
A tawny owl was now perched beside his desk with his leg out waiting for the letter to be attached. He said a simple binding charm and gave the owl a piece of his toast that was left over from breakfast.  
  
"My dear bird, I do hope you find Ms. Granger well. It has been several years now since we have seen her." With that the bird flapped it's feathered wings and flew out the large window in search of the now, adult, Miss Hermione Granger. 


	2. Oh May, What a Day!

Chapter 2  
  
Oh May, What a Day!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of this, and JK Rowling is brilliant.  
  
A/N: Thanks for the reviews, here is the second chapter.  
  
- Yes this will be a Snape/Granger story. I hope you like that sort of thing, but she is much older so at least it isn't illegal right?  
  
"Mum, where did you want me to put this box?" A tall slender young woman asked as she approached the foot of the stairs staring upward into her mother's face.  
  
"Hermione, put it with the rest, I will get to it later." Her mother said, her reply echoing down the stairwell.  
  
Hermione Granger, now an adult was helping her mother move into a small flat off of Kensington Street. She had spent the last several nights here, on a cot in her mother's unfurnished living room, while her mother took to the mattresses they had set up in the master bedroom. It was there she would often find herself now crying herself to sleep. Every night she thought about the same thing.  
  
' It had be 25 years! 25 years of what? Nothing! Marriage was such a waste, how could my parents do this to me? They had been so in love, perhaps I shouldn't have gone off to Hogwarts to study magic. Am I the one responsible for breaking up their marriage? If not, it sure felt like this was all my fault.'  
  
Hermione Granger continued to carry boxes inside from her mother's old Volkswagen and placing them in the kitchen/dinning area, if you could even call it that. It had already been a month since her parents wrote her a letter asking her to pop by for visit, a visit she would soon not forget. She remembers the day vividly, as it is hard to forget when someone's parents tell you after 25 years of bloody marriage they couldn't work things out and they were getting a divorce.  
  
Just like that everything Hermione Granger had once believed in was flipped upside down, She wished desperately to go back to the way life was when she was small. A place where her parents didn't fight and where they actually got along, and understood each other. It seemed that as every passing year that she spent at Hogwarts, the summers became more difficult. Her father, she could tell thought that she was wasting her life, and her mother was just, unhelpful to say the least.  
  
It was the summer after her sixth year when she saw her parents fighting constantly and of course her father sitting in his den sulking after a fight. It was then she began to think that her life as a witch was trying her parents' patience. She can still remember a particular fight they had one night:  
  
"Daniel, why the hell don't you go talk to your daughter?"  
  
"How can I support that child's decision, she is wasting her life, let alone putting it in danger!"  
  
"She loves you, dammit Daniel, pull your head out of your ass and go talk to her!"  
  
"Don't tell me what to do, Fiona! I have put up with every single one of her whims up until now, she is almost an adult, and I can't stand the fact that my daughter is a witch!"  
  
"That should never change how you feel about her! And you know it!"  
  
"I never said that I stopped loving her, I just…do you know what our friends are saying? They think our daughter is a freak!"  
  
These fights would go on for hours, and Hermione tried her best to ignore them, but she supposed now deep down those fights were what caused her to make the decision she had.  
  
After her graduation her parents had persuaded her to stay and live a muggle lifestyle for a while, and if she absolutely hated it, then she would be free to go back to living as a witch. Surprisingly she did not protest, she was tired of fighting and the death in the life that she held dear to her heart. Mainly she was just scared, scared of the future, and scared for her friends. Ron and Harry became Auroras, and the last time she saw them was in the hospital wing at Hogwarts. She will never forget what Severus Snape said to her as she walked out the door,  
  
"Always remember Miss Granger that it is better to die trying than to run in shame. For those who run in shame may never find the courage to find their way back."  
  
She could have killed him for saying that.  
  
'Severus Snape wouldn't know courage if it bit him in the arse!' She though.  
  
But now looking back he was right, she was too scared to go back now.  
  
'Scared, imagine that a Gryffindor scared of death, that must be a first.' She thought to herself.  
  
But now four years had past and she couldn't help but miss the fascinating arts of magic.  
  
She quickly adjusted to her old life, for her parents' sake.  
  
At this thought Hermione laughed out loud. 'What a load of bullocks. I gave up everything I loved for them, and now look, they don't even live in the same house anymore! Why did I even bother?'  
  
She had first gotten a job working in a library, but for some reason or another muggle libraries were far less intriguing than the Hogwarts library. Hermione quickly tired of her job and was dehydrated from knowledge, so she applied to go to a muggle university, Oxford. She was accepted, and in her first literature class she met Derrick. Derrick was a fairly tall bloke with short brown hair with frosted tips. He was almost ten years older than her, but that aspect about him never bothered her. After class one day he asked her out, and she thought what the hell, 'live like a muggle, marry a muggle my parents would be thrilled.'  
  
When looking back on that relationship, Hermione knew that she was desperate. She now found herself asking how she fell in love with a tree- hugger in the first place.  
  
At first their relationship was romantic, he would bring her rare species of muggle flowers, and she would read to him. But lately it had become a battle, he drug her to places where she would never be caught dead in, the African Desert, where she developed a nasty case of heat rash. Then there was the rainforest of Costa Rica where she was eaten alive by every known insect in the forest. And finally, the most recent trek had been to the artic, where she claims to have lost all feeling in her right pinky finger, even though she had been back in London for a few months, and was never diagnosed with hypothermia.  
  
She hadn't told her mother that she had broken up with Derrick closely after her parents had informed her of the divorce. She thought her mother might blame herself, but at this point, Hermione thought perhaps that is what her mother needed.  
  
"Hermione! Do you want to go get us some lunch from the café down the street?" Her mother called down the stairs.  
  
"All right, what did you want?"  
  
"A turkey sandwich will be fine."  
  
"Be back in a jiffy." Hermione called out, grateful to be leaving that place. She wishes she could leave and never return. It only made her sad, when she was with just her mum, or just her dad, it didn't matter, nothing would be the same.  
  
Hermione walked outside to her car and perched on top of her hood was a large tawny owl. She swallowed hard and opened the car door. She frantically threw around some books and papers in her backseat to reveal her wand.  
  
"Solvo!" She muttered with her wand pointed at the bird. The letter was set free and the bird took flight. She starred at the letter wondering whether or not she should open it. Undecided at that time she stuffed it into her overalls and got in her car and drove down the street.  
  
A/N: "Solvo" is a Latin word meaning to release. 


	3. Cold Day in May

Chapter 3  
  
Cold Day in May  
  
A/N: Thanks to my reviewers, I hope everyone likes this chapter, if you haven't figured out it is going to go, a chapter on Hermione, a chapter on Severus, at least until they meet.  
  
Somewhere over Moscow, Severus Snape was beginning to tire from his long journey. He had been on his broomstick for three hours now and his bottom was getting sore. Not only was dark now, but the temperature was dropping fast, he decided it would be best to stop and rest for a while before finishing the trip.  
  
He landed on a deserted street, but recognized the street up ahead from his many trips through Moscow. He went into the side alley and conjured his heavy black flannel cloak and slipped it on over his school robes. He refused to flip the hood up, it reminded him of his job as a rouge death eater. He shuttered at the thought.  
  
He continued on down the street with his broomstick in his hand. His hand went to the pocket where the letter that was given to him earlier that day. Thoughts raced through his mind. His past was rushing forward from the part of his mind that had tried to keep things shut up and locked away. The past hurt him so much; he had to fight back his furry at his own decisions that he had once made. Life before and after Hogwarts was never easy for Severus. He had always had pressure from those he knew; often times that was his father, and other times it was his peers.  
  
He supposed why he hated Potter so much was that even though Severus came from a long line of wizards, as did Potter, Severus had to always work much harder to be recognized. Potter was famous because of his charm, charisma, and let's face it he was royalty, but Severus Snape had nothing. Growing up was difficult for Severus. He hardly ever saw his parents, and was often watched by a small house elf named Nadine. He hated the elf so much, partly because of the annoying loyalty, but mostly because she would never replace his parents that had to leave him every day to go to work. He spent most of his youth reading books that his father would bring home from trips from foreign countries.  
  
He never went to school before Hogwarts, Nadine had taught him how to read, and ever since that day he read every book he could get his hands on. The rumor that was started by Sirius Black was that he knew everything about the Dark Arts before he even stepped foot inside a classroom, but the truth was there wasn't a subject that he didn't know everything about.  
  
He walked through the cold winds and opened the door to little tavern called Cigam. It was similar to the Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley, they served butterbeer and pumpkin juice, and of course, vodka. Severus took a seat in the corner of the bar, and took off his cloak. He had ordered a vodka tonic in Russian and fiddled with the napkins on the table. As he sat there, he thought again about the letter, and the past that he had left behind in Siberia. To him Siberia was his past, and England was his, well, rather bleak future. No matter what choice he would have made, he couldn't have helped but not hurt his own heart. To many, Severus Snape's heart was in a jar, and being decomposed by some of his rather odd potion ingredients he held in his private stores, but the truth was that after becoming a death eater, the Dark Lord owns your heart, soul, and desires, he took them all away from him, hurting not only him but the ones he once loved.  
  
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His mind soon drifted to the last battle, where Harry Potter had been dead and come back amongst the living. He remembered vividly someone shouting Advra Kaddvera at Lucious Malfoy, who had a minute earlier stabbed Severus on his side with a dagger of some sort. Lucious Malfoy collapsed beside him, there was nothing left of him.  
  
His eyes had become blurry and the pain he felt was intense, almost as if he had left his body and watching himself suffer on the ground. He watched Harry Potter lying unconscious on the ground, and Ron dead on the ground next to him. His eyes frantically searched for the remaining comrade, but could not see her. He feared her dead along with Sirius. The pain was submerging him into sleep, into death, a death that he deserved much more than the red headed boy that was only a few yards away. He laid there for what had seemed like hours, when he had heard a voice off in the distance.  
  
"Help, please, anyone help me, I am alive!" she cried out.  
  
Severus knew it was Miss Granger. He struggled to retrieve his wand from his pocket and tried to stop the bleeding in his side, but his wand had been damaged from all of the magic that had been done that night. He grabbed hold of a trunk of a tree and tried desperately to prop himself up. He stood, took a step, and then faltered, breathing deeply; he walked slowly to the voice. He was nearly there when he saw Dumbledore standing over her. She was alive but unconscious when he saw them. At this point he could barely stand. Feeling dizzy from the blood loss that had occurred, he fainted just as Dumbledore had approached him with teared eyes and caught him with a levitation charm.  
  
From what Dumbledore had informed him of later, he was taken by Lupin to the hospital wing at Hogwarts. Harry, Hermione, Sirius body, and Ron's body were all taken as well by Dumbledore, Minivera, and Arabella Figg. Snape had recovered first, his wounds were only physical, while Harry's and Hermione's were also emotional wounds. When he woke from consciousness he, saw Lupin standing by the window starring out into the sky. He then remember Sirius dying for him the previous day, and suddenly felt the bile rise in his throat. Sirius Black had sacrificed his life for him. Him, the kid he always picked on in school, the one who despised him so much he tried to get him killed. He spoke.  
  
"Remus," He started out hoarsely.  
  
"Severus, your awake! Do you need anything?" He asked gently as he approached the bed.  
  
He would rather have died than to have Remus see him this vulnerable, but then his thoughts turned again to Sirius. "No,. I." He cleared his throat.  
  
"Yes?" Remus asked patiently.  
  
"Look, I have never been good at thank yous or anything to that effect, but I…" Remus interrupted.  
  
"Nothing is needed, we are all thankful that you survived."  
  
"Damm it Lupin, why do you have to be so god damm noble, your best friend just died, and you are thankful I survived? Bloody hell, Remus why didn't he just let me die, it is the way it should have been!!!" Severus barked trying to sit up, but then remembering the pain in his side.  
  
"Severus, of course I wish Sirius wouldn't have died, but I certainly did not wish the same fate for you!" He said back in reply.  
  
He said nothing in return. He turned his head and saw Ron's parents and family. They too were sad and lonely, but then again so was he, he had just been this way for 20 years, unlike the Weasley family who would never be the same again.  
  
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Severus thrust down the glass; he had taken the vodka with one chug. He stood up flung on his coat and stormed out of the tavern.  
  
'This certainly is not what I needed. Not now, not today!' He thought as he mounted his broom and took off towards his home in the artic cold of Siberia. 


	4. June Winds

**Chapter 4**

**June Winds**

****

A/N: Ok so maybe I don't know my drinks, I am eighteen and a non-alcoholic, what can I say! J All I know about is what my friends drink and I really couldn't picture Snape with a Strawberry Daiquiri if you catch my drift! 

"Hermione, you have been quiet ever since you got back this afternoon. Is something wrong?" Her mother asked.

'Wrong, of course something is wrong, you're getting a divorce, I broke up with my boyfriend, I received a letter I never wanted to see, of course everything in the bloody world is WRONG!' She thought to herself.

"No, everything is fine." She replied, as she went back to playing with her half eaten sandwich and pickle. 

"Okay, if you need to talk about it let me know. I can fix it." Her mother said innocently as if Hermione was a stubborn child who didn't know what was best for her. This threw her off the roof and she began yelling.

"Okay, so you want to know what is wrong do you, and you, you have the nerve to actually think you could fix what is bothering me?! You can't because I hate you, I hate dad, and I hate Derrick!!!!" She yelled like a teenager.

"HERMIONE! Why are you mad at us?" She asked appalled.

"Oh, you think I am happy about this? Do you think you two can just pick up get a divorce and bring it up to me at breakfast one day? Breakfast is for cereal, jokes and burnt toast, not divorces!!!" She continued on without breaking a sweat.

"Why didn't you ever mention anything to us before, if you were so upset we could have talked about it." 

"You think it is that easy, talking about it, talking won't make you love each other again, and talking will certainly not help me erase the things I did to hurt your marriage."

"What are you talking about dear?"

"You think I didn't her dad and you argue? Do you think I was so stupid to see that neither of you were happy with decision I made? Did it ever occur to you that perhaps I was happy with what I was doing?"

"But dear, you almost died, and you lost one of your friends we thought that if you came home that you could forget about those things."

"Do you think that I will ever forget seeing my best friend's body fall to the ground? Do you think that I could ever forget what happened to me in that forest? You took me home and I stayed, I wanted to make someone in this world happy, but I see that is no longer possible!" She started to cry.

"Oh Hermione, this is what is best for us, and you." She said walking over to hug Hermione. 

Hermione refused to be hugged, got up grabbed her coat of the back of the kitchen chair and started for the door.

"No, mother, this is not what is best for me, and I don't bloody well care what you think anymore! I am an adult I will make my own decisions thank you very much!" She said as she walked out the door.

"Hermione, wait! Come back! Please!" Fiona cried, she had driven her own daughter away, and she didn't know if she would ever see her again.

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So many thoughts raced through her mind, yelling at her mother had felt good, but she couldn't help but feel guilty. It is as if they had become strangers living in the same house, she supposed that is what she felt with Derrick, no one could relate to her, not even the author of the letter that was in her pocket. Hermione struggled to find some reason to keep living here, or to just open the letter and see what the old man wanted. 

A week had past since she blew up at her mother, and she still had the letter in her pocket, taking it everywhere as if it were a charm. This thought made her laugh. 'It probably is a charm, that is what magic is.'

It was June and today was extremely muggy outside. She had grabbed a bite to eat and now found herself wandering through the side streets by her flat. She had now walked the distance to the local park, and found a brick wall to sit on. She jumped up, and fiddled with the letter again. The edges were now becoming like cloth, as she had rubbed them so much in the past week. She drew it from her pocket and began to tear the sealed envelope. She had known earlier who it was from, no one else from Hogwarts would ever write to her. Her thoughts were confirmed when she began reading the letter.

Dear Miss Granger,

I do hope this letter finds you well. If you aren't busy on June 15th I would wish to have you join me for a cup of tea at Hogwarts. I have a proposal to make, that I do hope that you do not refuse. Say hello to your parents, and please send your reply by owl post. 

Sincerely, 

Albus Dumbledore

Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"June 15th! That is tomorrow!!!" Hermione gasped. She sat there in disbelief. It had been four years since she heard from anyone in the wizarding world, why now? Ron had died, Harry sort of disappeared along with Remus, and Minerva McGonagall had continued teaching, transfiguration. Then of course there was Severus Snape. These were her only friends, and only one of them had cared enough to write her.

She thought back to the day that she left, back to the last time she saw them all.

*****

Her eyes fluttered open, white light flooded her eyes. White the color of purity, the color of hope, and the color of surrender. Things began to come into focus; her mind registered the place as the Infirmary at Hogwarts. It was quite, but the sun was hitting her directly. She looked over to the window and saw a figure standing; well when she looked closer he was sort of leaning against the wall starring out the windows that looked down on the Quidditch fields. She didn't recognize who it was, but who ever it was he stood as still as a statue. She could her his staggered breaths. Her focus was interrupted when she heard people coming. 

"This can't be true! RON! Can't be dead." Mrs. Weasly cried hysterically. 

"I am so very sorry Molly, he died very honorably. If there is anything we can do, please let us know." She heard Dumbledore say to Ron's mom, and she too began to cry. 

She cried for him, for Sirius, and most of all herself. It seemed like a selfish thing, but she couldn't help but feel dirty. What had happened the previous night to her she could not exactly remember, but she did remember waking up sore and violated. Her crying grew louder and she could sense someone walking towards her, when they approached her, she felt a sense of stability and stopped crying in order to take a breath. She closed her eyes in fear of being laughed at for crying. She lied there for hours, while she heard the man breaths. They too seemed pained, and this some how made her relax. 

She never opened her eyes again, until her parents came and offered to take her home a few days later.

*****

She awoke from her daydream to a hoot of an owl perched next to her on the brick wall at the park. She frowned and said:

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to go see what he wants, I have nothing left here. I could always come back if I wasn't comfortable." She said to the bird while stroking its feathers between her index finger and her thumb.

She took out a pen from her purse and wrote her reply on the back of the letter he had sent, asking for directions to get to Hogwarts. She had only been to Hogwarts on the train at the start and end of every term, except the last of course. She wondered how she would ever find it.

She took out her wand from her pocket, which since the arrival of the letter, it never left her sight, and said a binding charm and sent the owl off to Hogwarts.

*****

That next morning the same tawny owl was waiting for her at her breakfast table. She petted it again and fed it some burnt toast and eggs. The owl hooted happily and dropped the note in front of her. She quickly opened it.

Dear Miss Granger,

I am so very glad to hear that you are well, and most importantly willing to meet with me. You will find a Portkey to Hogwarts inside this letter, when you are ready just touch the tab of the soda can and you will find yourself at the front steps of Hogwarts. Awaiting your visit,

Albus Dumbledore

"Well, here goes nothing!" She said as she grabbed the tab in her hand, closed her eyes and felt herself being jerked forward into a spiral. When she opened them she saw directly in front of her the place where she called home for seven years of her life.

After a few moments of reverie, she slowly walked up the large cobblestone bricked steps and approached the large wooden door. She grasped the large doorknocker in her right hand and thrust it down at the door, letting the castle know of her presence. And she waited.


	5. Author's Note

Author's Note: I would like to apologize for anyone who thought that my statement of me being a non-alcoholic, meant that if you know drinks you are an alcoholic. I am sorry, but I have never had a drink in my life, so therefore I consider myself a non-alcoholic. I never meant that just because you know drinks, you drink a lot.  
  
I greatly appreciate reviews on the content of the story, I am not looking for a career in literature because I know I am pretty bad at it, but I enjoy writing these stories, and I hope someone likes to read them. I think I am going to take a break from this story for a few days, until I can get my mind focused on the rest of the plot, and perhaps do research, if that's what it takes to get people to enjoy my stories.  
  
I would also like to state that I still am in great need of a Beta Reader, so if you want to help me out, let me know.  
  
Again, I hope I didn't offend anyone, because that is never what I intended to do. Have a nice day, and I will always believe that Severus Snape and Hermione Granger are right for each other. 


	6. June Confrontations

Chapter 5  
  
June Confrontations  
  
A/N: Hello everyone, I am happy to announce that I finally found a summer job, so now I can actually start making some money. I also hope you like the next installment of Finding Snape, I enjoy it anyways,  
  
I love reviewers so thanks to:  
  
Lyansidde  
  
Amber  
  
Enfleurage  
  
SilentG  
  
Tracy  
  
Silene Acaulis  
  
Sasleggolas  
  
Quidditch and  
  
MysticDragonstar  
  
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Severus Snape had arrived at his destination early the next morning. He walked up the snow-covered path towards a dark house. He laughed, it was the middle of June and yet there was snow, hard to believe that he actually sort of missed the cold weather.  
  
The house stood over him like an evil shadow, a shadow that haunted daydreams and nightmares. Many bad memories had occurred here, and he had tried for years now to forget them, but the harder he tried, the more they braded him. The door was open when he had arrived, it was a heavy wooden door that rivaled even Hogwarts. The house itself was beaten down, old, and decrepit. A wave of memories flashed over him,  
  
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"Sev, where should we put this? How about here?" A woman questioned as she placed a photograph on the mantel.  
  
"That is fine." He replied as he looked around at his newly purchased house.  
  
"What is wrong Severus? You should be pleased we finally have our own place, a place our children can grow up in." She said as her molasses colored hair spun around flying in her face. She looked up at him with her black eyes, and batted her eyelashes at him. That got him every time. He walked over to his bride and kissed her.  
  
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That was the last time he was ever truly happy again. They never had any children, never had any more pictures. His thoughts were interrupted by a voice.  
  
"Hello, can I help you?" A boy around 13 years old and molasses colored hair asked him.  
  
"Demitri?" He croaked.  
  
"Do I know you?" He asked again.  
  
"I haven't seen you in quite sometime, my name is Severus Snape, I use to live here… with your aunt." He said gruffly.  
  
"Oh, mama isn't going to be pleased you're here." He said running off yelling at his mother.  
  
'Just great just what I need to see Sida's live ghost.' He thought as he waited on in the foyer.  
  
"Severus, how nice to see you." Seri said with a ting of sarcasm.  
  
"Pleasure Seri, glad to see your well." He said with his words dripping with distain.  
  
"Run along Demitri, Go finish sorting out the photographs downstairs." She said, as she clearly wanted him to leave before raising her voice.  
  
She took Severus's arm and drug him out into the cold and ice that was once his front yard.  
  
"Let go of me Seri, before I am forced to do something drastic." He said shooting her a look of death.  
  
"What the hell do you think you are doing here Snape? Do you think that you can just parade in here and take what was yours after, what 12 years?" She screamed.  
  
"She was my wife Seri! For Merlin's sake she isn't even been cold in her grave, and you are ransacking our house!"  
  
"Correction ex-wife, and this isn't your house it was hers. We are not taking anything we were just trying to sort things out, and in case you don't know, it is how people move on with their lives, Severus, oh wait a minute you don't know anything about that do you. Cause you have never moved on with any of your life have you? Ever since that goddamm book, and your bloody mark on your arm that was more trouble than it was worth. You have been stuck between a rock and a hard place, and you know it!"  
  
"You have no right talking about things you don't even know." He hissed. "Damm it Seri I have tried to move on, but you have no right stabbing me in the back like that. All that you should know is that I loved your sister, and had no intention in hurting her!" He yelled.  
  
"Whatever, Severus." She said blowing off the argument for a while; she knew it wouldn't go anywhere, as stubborn Severus Snape is.  
  
"I suppose you are going to want to stay for a while, the service is in two days. Grab your bags; you know where the rooms are. Demitri and I are in the master bedroom." She said as she walked back into the house.  
  
Severus shook his head and muttered some words and his bags appeared beside the broomstick. He thought back to the night he last saw Seri. It was no wonder that she hated even the sight of him.  
  
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It was cold, but what else was new, it was Siberia for Merlin's sake. He knew it was late, but just not how late. Seri and Demitri were living with them in the house, because Seri had Demitri out of wedlock, and needed a cheap place to stay, 'more like free,' Severus thought.  
  
He had just come back from a 'meeting' and was still shaking; He must have had the crutatius cures on him at least five times; ever since the unsuccessful capture of Maori, a small wizarding town in Italy, Voldermort took his anger out on his faithful, some not so faithful, servants. Before coming home he stopped in and had a drink to try and dull the pain. Not only was his head pounding, but also he feared that he might no longer be safe in Voldermort's service. He walked in the door around 2 o'clock in the morning, to see Seri sitting in their living room, just waiting to lecture him.  
  
"Do you know what time it is?" She yelled.  
  
"I am well aware of the time, are you?" He said trying to shove her off. It was hard to believe that there was once a time when they got along well.  
  
"Sida is very upset, I could hear her crying before I came down here. Where in bloody hell have you been? She is very fragile." She stood up grabbing his left arm.  
  
"Let go of me! I love Sida, I will never stop loving Sida, but there are things that I had to do before she came into my life, and …" He trailed off, as he tried pulling his arm away from her grasp. He was unsuccessful and his sleeve dropped down to reveal the black glowing hideous mark.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!" She screamed.  
  
"That's. That's that mark that causing all this destruction! TELL ME NOW THAT YOU ARE NOT A PART OF THE MASSACARE, OR I WILL KILL YOU NOW! YOU BASTARD!" She said as she grabbed her wand and pressed it against his torso.  
  
"Go ahead, it isn't really like I don't get this every night any way, besides I am sure your sister would be thrilled that her twin sister killed her husband!" He said facetiously. He pauses for a few moments, while Seri didn't move an inch.  
  
"Look, not that it is any of your business, but it isn't what you think." He said.  
  
"I don't care if your bloody, Merlin himself, you lied not only to me, but to your wife, my sister! Get out of this house. NOW!" She said with her wand pointed at him.  
  
He turned his back on her and walked out the door, his heart was breaking, and he couldn't help but wish he could change his past, even if he had not particularly done anything wrong to begin with.  
  
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From then on he never trusted a single human being, not even Albus Dumbledore, who in later years took it upon himself to write a detailed letter to Seri and Sida explaining what Severus was doing for him, and the personal risk that he took every night in order to help stop Voldermort. They never wrote back, except for the letter that he had received from Seri last week, informing the great wizard about her sister's death.  
  
Severus set the bags down in a guest bedroom upstairs, and looked out onto the white abyss.  
  
'Why did I even bother to come back? Can't she see that I loved her sister! I am so brilliantly lost; I don't even know where to begin! Maybe I should just stay here for a while by myself, get things sorted out.' He thought to himself as he sighed, and started to unpack. It was going to be a long hard summer. 


	7. July Returns

A/N: It has been a while, I know, I hope you like the next chapter  
  
Chapter 6  
  
July Returns  
  
"Miss Granger! I am so thrilled to see that you are well!" Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry said as Hermione Granger came into his office. "Professor, it is nice to see you again." She said politely, still wondering if she would regret coming back. "Please Miss Granger have a seat." He said gesturing to a couch in his office. "Thank you, sir." She said as she placed her hands behind her legs and brought them forward, making sure her skirt was not bunched up when she sat down. "It has been far too long Miss Granger, or is it something else now? Do tell, what have you been up to?" He asked peering at her with his kind pale blue eyes. "Please, call me Hermione, and no I am not married, engaged, or even dating." She said looking at her feet, as if she felt shame. "That is quite all right Hermione, you have plenty of time. I am so glad you decided to come, rumor has it, that you have not been practicing magic. Is this true?" "It is true, sir. I made a promise to my parents and myself to try to make them happy and try and live like them, although I feel as if I am stuck between two worlds, in which neither one I belong." "I know the circumstances to your leaving, were very hard on you, and it must have been harder yet not being able to discuss them with anyone. Have you heard from Harry at all?" He asked seeing that Hermione was nearly in tears already. "No, I haven't written to anyone, except now, to you.." She trailed off, remembering something. "Ah, but then there was that letter to Professor Snape I believe." He said cracking a smile. "Oh, yes but that was quite a long time ago, and I was just wanting to thank him for what he did for me." She said sheepishly. "How did you know about that letter, anyway?" She asked again. "Hermione, I am afraid even Professor Snape's mail can't always be kept a secret here at Hogwarts, no matter how hard he tries to keep it private." He said smiling. "Oh." She said quietly. "Professor I don't mean to be rude, but why did you need to talk to me?" She asked after a brief silence between the two of them. "Hermione, I am not exactly sure how to say this to you. I have a sort of challenge, no more like a project for you, if you are willing to help complete it." He said with a frustrated look on his face. "What is the project?" She asked, somewhat curious. "Severus has gone back to his home in Siberia, but I am all too afraid that he was met with an unfriendly welcome, and some horrible memories of the past." He paused. "Who is Severus?" Hermione asked dumbly. "Professor Severus Snape, the Potions Master here at Hogwarts?" He questioned her back with the thought of such a simple question. "Oh, right, I suppose I had never heard his first name before, or remember it that is." "Miss Granger, would you be willing to go to Siberia for a while?" Albus asked her. "Whoa there, back up the broomstick, you want me to go to Siberia? And what, or should I say how, do you think I could fix his problems?" She started to ask in hysterics, thinking that what he had just proposed to her was a big joke. "Miss Granger, Professor Snape, has memories in his past, which he has kept inside his mind, soul, and heart. He has barely told me anything about his past, except for when he offered to help out the Order of Phoenix, and turn his back on Voldermort because of certain pressures he was feeling. I know in my heart, that Severus Snape is a honorable man, who needs someone to talk to." "And you want me to be the one he talks to? Why me, he hates me!" She exclaimed. "He does not hate you Miss Granger, he finds you to be an interesting challenge, and I think by helping him you will in turn find some answers to your own questions, that you yourself have about your past, and your future." He said half smiling. 'God, I hate it when he might be right.' Hermione thought to herself. "Ok suppose I do go, what am I suppose to tell Professor Snape when I get there? 'Oh hi, I thought you might be mentally unstable, do you want to talk about it?'" She mocked. "No, tell him the truth. Tell him, that you need to talk to someone about what happened to you and your friends in the forest that fateful night." He said. "How did you know, that something bad happened to me?" She questioned about ready to cry again. "Miss Granger, Professor Snape and myself were the ones to find you in the aftermath." Albus walked over to Hermione and held her for a while until she stopped crying. She had felt safe there in her mentor's arms, she felt safer here than in her own father's arms. This thought had scared her, was she a muggle, or was she a witch. Maybe Albus Dumbledore was right, maybe she needed to find out once and for all if Severus Snape was the man that would perhaps help her, and if he could, the least she could do in return is help him with his problems, whatever those might be. 


End file.
